solvent

for a moment i thought i was never going to be able to laugh again. the rain came back and i felt the bubbling laughter inside of me begin to boil over. what was it that left me in those moments you looked away? was it knowing that in the movement from being here to being there you were not part of my moment? was it being in that space knowing that the commiseration in my chest was seeping through my skin, evidence of whatever it is that causes such pain that you recognised but wouldnt dare face. not again. not today. not any day. so you faced away. so you denied ever seeing feeling tasting touching that ever again. the falseness is what saved us that day. and it will continue to. bring back the night.