the corner man

i dont even know how to put this.
this morning i was on my way to morning coffee with kate and kyle and on the corner of merriman and under the 'neelsie' sign was a man and a security guard. the man was a very thin man dressed in a hospital gown. he seemed like he had fallen and couldn't stand back up, so the security guard was assisting him, but he was refusing with menace in his eyes.
he must have escaped from the public hospital up the road, made it about 200m and then collapsed and was unable to get back up onto his terribly feeble legs which he seemed unable to control.
it was deeply moving in a brief and intense way. we know nothing of who he is, why he was in hospital, but his eyes were so empty of life and so full of a parallel universe that he seemed so disillusioned. today seems somewhat hazy after seeing that. a very painful, sordid feeling.

her morning elegance

HER MORNING ELEGANCE by Orie Lavie:
Sun been down for days
A pretty flower in a vase
A slipper by the fireplace
A cello lying in its case



Soon she's down the stairs
Her morning elegance she wears
The sound of water makes her dream
Awoken by a cloud of steam
She pours a daydream in a cup
A spoon of sugar sweetens up

And She fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
As she goes in a store
With a thought she has caught
By a thread
She pays for the bread
And She goes...
Nobody knows


Sun been down for days
A winter melody she plays
The thunder makes her contemplate
She hears a noise behind the gate
Perhaps a letter with a dove
Perhaps a stranger she could love

And She fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
As she goes in a store
With a thought she has caught
By a thread
She pays for the bread
And She goes...
Nobody knows

And She fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
Where people are pleasently strange
And counting the change
And She goes...
Nobody knows

ekse

"the seasons have changed but so have we"






find on youtube:

'her morning elegance/oren lavie'

really now, it's lovely. oddly similar to goldfish's music video, but still, worth the next 3:36 minutes of your life.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_HXUhShhmY)

T in the Park.

kiss

the moments that keep us moving...
i wish i had words.

"you're a child, you'll always be a child even when you're a grownup."


desmond and the tutus. thank you.
i want to kiss you. on the cheek.

there will come a time.

there comes a time when your thoughts stop manifesting themselves in your present day, self-involved self and they begin to formulate around more, let's say, prospective thoughts. they manifest around what you want and what you dont want. around what the future may or may not look like in a more adult frame of mind. you begin to see things in a different way, more insightful and more knowledgable. you forget about petty things, like what your child may look like but rather what you'll be like as a mother or as a parent, or maybe who your child might become.
it seems to me a somewhat important process even if it never materialises.
i do believe very strongly in living in the present, but it is so important to know that there is a future and there is life beyond today, no matter what philosophy you might hold.
think about death, think about the fact that people have to live on. think about what death means. what it means to the body and the mind. think about things.
dont stop. always think.

capsule

this week's project.

[yellow sun waits upon the red winged starling]

baby

"I’m just a musical prostitute, my dear.”

- freddie mercury

a falling star

check this out:
from [www.thatjadegirl.tumblr.com]

to change

this morning i found myself in the new cape quarter.
there's this exhibition there that i seem to be drawn to in a very deep way.
anyway, so i was there and i was paging through this book that the artist had written
little blurbs in. every single one of them really meant so much to me
and where i am and how i conduct my behaviour, but
then there was this one. it didnt go like this exactly
because i didnt write it down. i know it wont only mean so much to me, but to
most of the people i am friends with will probably need to read this.
so here goes.
basically:

the only way we stop pain is to change. without change, pain remains.

bane

the bane of my existence right now:
coffee & words.

this is by far the most stressful, rewarding, interesting, worthwhile part of my degree.
what can be more exciting than learning, discovering, thinking, doubting, not understanding, then understanding?
every person who has the capacity to think should do this.
these challenges, no matter what your mark may be in the end, are what learning really is.
it's not what content you have to mindlessly study, it the looking into issues that really matter. that really build up a society. there's no progress without inquisitiveness.


be the person who is addicted to why.

you'll be the wisest you can be.

na na na

So let it out and let it in, hey Jude, begin
You're waiting for someone to perform with
And don't you know that it's just you? Hey Jude, you'll do
The movement you need is on your shoulder
Na na na, na na, na na na na, yeah

- hey jude, the beatles

bluebirds on our shoulders

stay up super late tonight,
picking apples, making pie.
put a little something in our lemonade
and take it with us.
- fake empire, the national

woodstock

what a time to have lived...

one

one of my favourite lines of a song:

repent all your sin

delish

to all of you who have not yet been amused.
follow these instructions:

a) read the following article by Anton Taylor. just remember to keep your emotions aside, and let yourself be amused. really, quite something bizarre.

follow this link:

http://www.varsitynewspaper.co.za/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=254:coming-out-on-top-uct-wins-again&catid=40:focus&Itemid=56

b) having read that, i'm supposing you are quite shocked. so read this poignant comeback by Luca Vincenzo.

http://lucavincenzo.blogspot.com/

c) have a nice day.

void

today, for the first time, i avoided something i value. that something is someone who played a significant and important role in my life. that someone is a he who i fell in love with for the first time in my young life. that he is justin woods.
having done that, i feel sad. having said that, i don't know why i feel sad. i guess i just do. i feel like i found it too easy to turn my head and speed up my pace, while feeling a little burning in my chest knowing that for the first time since we broke up, i was just going to walk right by.
i dont know if he saw me. but still, that doesnt make matters better or worse.
i think it's quite a significant step. just, quite, uninterpretable.

do this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOhf3OvRXKg&feature=fvst

watch this extraordinary work of art. it'll take your breath away.

fella

flow like water.
thoughts into words, not sounds, i leave that to my musician friends.
i reckon i'm pretty stable.
you know.
just flowing like a tide into a lagoon
or like a leaf approaching the ground
or like hair in the wind
always in motion.
like a quite-smiled secret
nice ness
i hope you find yourself in a good space today.

the target that i'm aiming at

have you ever wondered how you could possibly congest your thoughts into a few sentences. or even explain them satisfactorally (if that is even a word).

i wonder if this picture sums up something someone is trying to think.
let's try analyse.
a. it could be a symbol of, 'hey kids, go crazy'.
b. or it could be a symbol or message about masked reality. stop pretending, kid.
c. or it could be a representation of utter confusing of where her head's at.
d. or it could be an attempt to distort her reality.
haha. this is actually fun because WHO THE FUCK CARES.

so [basically] what i'm getting at is whatever your thoughts may be, they may frustrate you to the extent that you are completely overwhelmed by yourself and your everything and everything... but in the end, what does it really matter. what you are to the world is essentially who you are because only you knows what is really clashing and burning and crashing and melting inside that crazy kop. so stop analysing yourself, its kinda a waste of time.
just let it be, you'll figure yourself out.

oh and i think rene descartes and his fuckup theories have me in a tangle.

the message

you dont have to be alone,
you dont have to be on your own.

introduced by a friend of a friend

god that was strange to see you again
introduced by a friend of a friend

i'm not sorry i met you
i'm not sorry it's over
i'm not sorry there's nothing to say

play in the park

yesterday i played in the park until i got ill. it didnt take too long on the roundabout, but that's ok.
the seesaw was good. i sat there with my justinkie and we spoke about things that matter.
i suppose you're not supposed to do that when you're pretending to be a kid, but we never do things the right way anyway.
i dont quite remember what it was that went on between us, but i do know that it was real and that when we speak about things that matter, they do. who cares if you can't remember it completely the next day. it's all about the moment, isnt it. the moment that keeps you moving?
that is what we live for afterall.
up and down. hovering. then up and down. then hovering and staring. then up and down again. the hovering and staring and saying. then up and down again again. then hovering then staring then saying then listening then feeling then processing then observing. then off.
when is it that the kid within you drifts away? does it? has it? when arent you allowed to be a kid? when you're a parent? when you're exposed to the horrors? or is it in that moment that you're supposed to be a kid?
why should there be an answer?

what would an answer mean anyway?

how ironic to be asking questions.
i guess that's the effect that thinking and always thinking and not being able to put my thoughts into a succint form of words or something at least a little more tangible.
when will our thoughts ever be exposed to the universe? perhaps over coffee.
til then, rest.

quaark

a little reality check

check this shit out

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tR-kKh-r0P0&feature=player_embedded

kan jy glo

there are days where i feel completely overwhelmed by information coming from all angles, conflicting and stimulating and demanding and, so nearly, justified.
i don't quite know what to make of days like these because whenever i sit down and want to write about my latest philosophy, or idea, or consensus on life, it feels like every single thought that has passed through my mind rushes to my finger tips. then, in my fingertips, i feel
numb.
my thoughts are...
congested and i am left with nothing.
no value, no fundamental thinking.
i blame university and the culture of knowledge.

[too much information for a thinking person]

that is why i like this picture, and feel it is relevant to my day. here is this humble man with his humble elephant, most probably in humble india, and probably at more peace without such a rush of information on day to day basis.
i feel as if we are forced to think, and by being forced to think, we thinking nothing at all.
it's all pretend in the end.

isn't she just lovely?

the national

MUST FIND - 'FAKE EMPIRE' AND 'GREEN GLOVES'
emphasis on must.

" bluebirds on our shoulder, we're half awake in a fake empire. "

expekt

blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed
- alexander pope

||| |||

FLORENCE AND THE MACHINES - The Dog Days.

Happiness hit her like a train on a track
Coming towards her stuck still no turning back
She hid around corners and she hid under beds
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled
With every bubble she sank with her drink
And washed it away down the kitchen sink

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind
You cant carry it with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
Because here they come

And I never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had and what was left after that too, oh
Happiness hit her like a bullet in the head
Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than that

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
Because here they come

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your loving, your loving behind
You cant carry it with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
Because here they come

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run

i.... i dont know.

i... i dont know. i guess only children know what they're looking for.
everything. everything, in its right place.
if you know what this means, let it console you.
if not, well let me explain. everything must be in its right place for you to be where you are now. what's gone before has put you where you are now. where you are now is a stepping stone for where you're going to be. so dont despair, know that this is all a journey of the mind. of the heart and of your feet. everything, everything is always on motion and is where it is because life is a delicate mechanism of a series of events.